I refer to last Sunday's letter by Mr Alvin Tan, 'Why I chose a China bride', which I felt gave an inaccurate portrayal of the modern Singaporean woman.

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Carry the lady's handbag when dating her? You must be joking!

simple logic. a man will be a gentleman when a woman he's out a is a lady.

I don't understand why you write like there is a new acceptance for boyfriends to carry their girlfriends handbag. Is this some kind of new mantra? Its women with this kind of thinking that turns the singaporean men off and I really don't blame them.

Modern women wants new things of course. When you old, they throw you one side and look for younger new ones lor.

If women want to be treated as equals, then carry your own bag and learn to pick up the tab too. Give and take. The rules were never different, the perspectives are your own. Its our expectations that eventually leave us lonely. Start giving more and you'll get back some.

The Women Charter is already no give but take.

I don't think it's about culture as much as about personal comfort zones/adaptation. Some men prefer 'respectful'/amenable women that their mothers model while others prefer/can handle 'strong'/assertive partners - remindful of or opposite to 'weak' mothers their fathers dominate.

Which may explain why some Western men choose women from developing societies while others - even younger professionals - prefer relatively 'less assertive' Asian women.

It's also about gender differences and empathy. Some women have great friends who happen to be effeminate guys - straight or gay - as they understand women better. Of course, there are uneffeminate guys who understand/empathise with women too - not all turning on the charm to manipulate women's needs/vulnerabilities. How many of these godsends are there?

Smarter women would see through actors who - while treating them as queens - betray themselves giving 'inferiors' like service givers, short shrift. This is a harbinger of what's to come when the charm peters out abruptly post-courtship. Many young couples are guilty of insouciance/incivility when they obstruct/hog amenities/passage totally absorbed with each other - if not smooching flauntingly.

I think women who take great pains pleasing their men with thoughtful care-giving gestures and purposeful dressing/grooming, etc - expect reciprocation in small gestures, not necessarily carrying their handbags. Younger women who can be as manipulative - if not more - than men and as thoughtless, may not deserve what their mother's generation, for instance, would.

Househusbands aside, men can't insist they needn't empathise with a woman's lot in today's double-income families where women shoulder both domestic and industrial burdens.

Men & women are not created equal. As such, even the govt does not treat us equally. Nowhere is this social equality better epitomised than National Service, where only young men, & not women, are drafted into the uniformed services. This form of sexual discrimination has resulted in delayed access to further education & employment for the men. If women want sexual equality, they have to accept equal responsibilities too. That is only fair.

please la, dont ask your man to carry ur handbag. if a woman finds it cumbersome to carry a handbag, then just carry a small purse. It looks so awful for a man to carry a lady's handbag. I think it is cool to take turns to pay for food when out for a date. Couples shouldn't go to expensive restaurants when they can't afford it. Basically, couples should be kind and considerate to each other when out on dates.