I REFER to Mr Alvin Tan's letter last Sunday, 'Why I chose a China bride'. I am astonished that a single passage could make me feel insulted, tickled and disbelieving all at once. Mr Tan is either seriously misinformed of the needs and wants of the modern Singapore woman, or is still steeped in the traditional notion of how men and women should behave.

Full Story

I'm not sure (to) whom Alvin Tan was insulting. I'm thinking Sherry Aw is right that he spoke as someone who was "unable to find someone to suit [his] needs here" - that must have been quite frustrating, made worse by the fact that he then (quite possibly) had to resort to a PR Chinese woman with supposedly top-notch educational qualifications. I wished he'd spared me that, bec honestly, there is no need to state that but for a fragile/frayed ego, given the well-known fact that many S'poreans consider the mainlanders their lesser cousins, and even then if that. Why the need to trumpet your whatever achievements unless you believe people would look down on you otherwise? As Sherry Aw asked, isn't true love good enough?

The obvious reason why most local men marry a China bride is because they could not find their match due to certain inadequcies. They are either not so well educated,average income earners,poor upbriging,parental pressure, or suffering from inferiority complex. These men will feel more superior and their ego boosted because they can afford to choose.

This is a fact. Call me racist I do not give a hoot.

Maybe the last paragraph from Ms Aw scares Singaporean men. The outspokeness and demanding attitude....which maybe why our girls go for Ang Mos because from my experience, Ang Mo ladies are more outspoken & demanding than SG girls, so Ang Mo men see them as quite tame(acceptable).

Aiyah... Singapore women insult the men all the time also by praising their ang moh husbands. So 1-1.

so singapore women get even by insulting the men....hohoho...rofl

With reference to Ms Sherry Aw's "Its an insult to S'pore Women", I cannot help but notice that such an educated woman like her, claimed injustice, yet through her own actions, have strengthened Mr Alvin Tan's views on Singaporean women.

Firstly, Ms Aw implies that not seeing a woman home equates to "ungentlemanly behaviour" or "not caring enough for her". If Singapore women are so capable, as Ms Aw has said, why can't they call for their own cabs home? Are they incapable of going home themselves or do they choose to take the more convenient route of getting the male to send them back? The only time that a date had offered to take a cab back herself in my experience, was when she found out the inconvenience i had to go through to send her back and yes, she's not from Singapore.

Secondly, Ms Aw states that Singaporean women wants a man to respect them, and treat them with equality, without reservations about being a gentleman. I'm not sure about her but this only seems to strengthen Mr Tan's argument that women interpret feminism in their own way. What about the man's desire to be loved and shown respect, to be treated also with tender loving care. Is this taking a backseat to what the women wants, where her needs comes first before the man? What happened to equal treatment?

The Straits Times article "Love me, spoil me", dated Feb 24 2008, re-confirms the above with Lu Minru's statement " Some women are hypocritical as they demand to be taken seriously and treated equally, but when it comes to dating etiquette, they expect their boyfriends to attend to their every need"

Ms Aw, before you go blame others for what you perceive as an insult to womanhood, do the right thing and prove that women are capable enough to not require patronage from men. Take the initiative to settle your own expenses during a date, and to arrange your own transportation home. If the male so refuses to do 'what is expected of him', respect his decision without prejudice. Don't hide under the cover of "ungentlemanly behaviour". The more women depend on men, the more they lend credence to the Straits Times findings.


It takes two to clap and love requires both parties to have mutual respect and understanding for each other. Different men and women have differing expectations of their partner. Some still subscribe to the traditional ethos of their partner's role tin life, while others prefer current western ideology. None are incorrect. Whichever is the case, one cannot sit on the fence, yet claim the benefits from both. I support Alvin Tan in his views and do not think that his comments have demeaned Singaporean women, when such comments are facts. It is no wonder then, that such one-sided treatment is driving more Singaporean men to go search for love elsewhere.

local men still go for foreign brides - tons with filipino, thai, viet, china, wives around where i live. wonder why local women are left on the shelves past expiry unwanted? They should feel insulted indeed that no-one wants them.

A successful relationship requires Mental, Spiritual and Physical stimulation to succeed. Depending on the lifestyle, some prefer Carnal, some prefer Spiritual, Some prefer Mental.

Sadly, some men think with their small head, rather than their big one. Lets just say that if one is fully satisfied with what one has, they will not find cause to leave the other.

Of course, if one partner has high levels of testosterone and one does not, it will prove to be a challenge.....

what an angry woman